Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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