LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize