I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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