My friends, they love my intelligence
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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