soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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