I need help removing her.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
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IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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