Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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