just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize