Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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