false alarm. still invincible.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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