He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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