i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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