I can feel you judging me through the phone.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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