can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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