"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize