yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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