I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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