Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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