I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize