True but thats because hes a fetus.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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