Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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