Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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