I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize