Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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