giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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