that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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