i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize