they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
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I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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