oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
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Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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