I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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