I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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