I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize