For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
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She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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