Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize