If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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