I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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