sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize