They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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