I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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