They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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