My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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