Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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