so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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