clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize