What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize