He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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