the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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