I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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