she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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