Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize