Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize