We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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