just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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